This really isn't a "Nah, Mug" directly to Justin Timberlake. That would be way too easy and obvious. This is a "Nah, Mug" to the mind-bogglingly crazed bufu mongers who insist he is legitimate as an artist. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills when I hear these brain-dead earth-wanderering pop culture zombies blather, with no hint of self-awareness of the level of their wildly, wildly bufu comments. I mean, Nah-Mugging these people is also pretty easy and obvious, except that I find no one really addresses them, and they won't shut up about it. So here I go.
People who tell me he really "has talent" because he can "dance" so well, and that he's such a good singer and — I hear this a lot — that he's wildly multi-talented because he's so "funny" in SNL sketches. Oh, and also that he's a good actor. The clincher is women telling me's legitimately "sexy."
First of all, being talented at shitty arts does not make you legitimate or worthy of my respect. So you can dance like a dingaling and sing like an even worse fag? Look, mugs, being a giant pussy sucks. Being a REAL fag like Freddy Mercury is what's awesome. The difference is that most of Queen's songs rock, and Timberlake's are pitiful and unlistenable garbage. See the distinction?
Further, being "funny" in sketches written by professional comedy writers, aided by professional comic actors, is not a sign of legitimacy. This impresses people too ignorant to understand how it works. Peyton Manning was funny on SNL. I'll concede that Michael Phelps was unable to even be funny on SNL, but he was probably stoned as hell. Timberlake pulled it off not because he's funny but because, unlike Phelps, he's had theater experience in how to read lines. Again, written by someone else.
He's kind of passable as an actor in a couple roles I've seen, I'll give you that.
However, let's talk about this "sexy" shit. THE MUG LOOKS LIKE AN UNBORN BABY BIRD and talks like a stone girl. Case closed.
This is all bad enough, but when a heterosexual male, in all seriousness, tells me Timberlake is truly legitimate (they at least leave out the "sexy" part), I seriously want to just set them the hell on fire. I've always known that the PR machines and such behind pop culture are pretty powerful, but I haven't seen brainwashing and mental conditioning like this since Hitler convinced everyone in Germany somehow not to laugh at him hysterically in his first speech in the '30s. Or to not laugh hysterically just upon seeing his face and head.
Of course, when you tell someone this, they say, "You're just jealous." Sure, I'd love to have fame and fortune, but why on earth would I be "jealous" of a mug who does myriad shit I have no interest in and no respect for? It would be like me telling these people "Oh, you're just jealous of child molesters, because you say they suck. You really wanna be one. You're jealous of everything you say sucks."
I engage in the viewing of some chode-up shit, such as "American Idol," just sometimes watching with my wife. But I'd never call it legitimate. Therein lies the rub.
If you insist he's legit, mugs, well, I just feel sorry for ya.
